Is Frustration Good or Bad For Your Development?

Is frustration good or bad for your development process? The question is: why are you frustrated?

If it’s with learning something new and you are working at it and working it, then know it will come. If you’re frustrated with your effort and focus, then change it.

There is no better feeling for a development specialist than when a player who was frustrated with trying to figure something out finally gets it! The exuberant feeling of "you did it" makes all the battles worth it. As a trainer, it’s our responsibility to make you stretch and become as uncomfortable as possible so your training shows up when you need it most.

The most frustrating thing is when you think you’re giving it effort and you’re not. Results do show when you half-do anything. The best results will be mediocre at best. When you run into serious competition, you will be frustrated again because the speed and intensity needed you haven’t prepared yourself for.

So, is frustration good or bad? It depends entirely on what you do with it. If you let it shut you down, it’s a roadblock. But if you channel it, frustration is actually the spark right before a breakthrough. It’s proof that you care, that you are pushing your boundaries, and that you are right on the edge of leveling up.

Embrace the discomfort, check your effort, and keep pushing. The breakthrough is coming.

Put It into Action: How to Use This Blog

For the Players: Turn Frustration Into Fuel

• Do a "Frustration Audit": Next time you feel angry or defeated during training, pause and ask yourself: Am I frustrated because this is hard, or because I’m not locked in?

• If it’s because it’s hard, keep going. You are actively rewiring your brain.

• If it’s because of your effort, change your energy instantly.

• Track Your "Breakthrough Moments": Keep a small notebook or a note on your phone. Write down the skills that used to make you want to throw your equipment. Looking back at what used to be tough reminds you that the struggle is temporary.

• Lean Into the Uncomfortable: If practice feels easy, you aren't getting better. Seek out the drills, the coaches, and the teammates that push you to your limit.

For the Parents: How to Guide the Grind

• Praise the Process, Not Just the Result: When your child is frustrated, avoid saying "It's okay" or trying to fix it immediately. Instead, try saying: "I see how hard you're working on this. I know it’s frustrating, but this is exactly how you get better."

• The "Car Ride Home" Rule: Don't critique their performance immediately after a tough game or practice. Let them sit with their frustration. Once they’ve cooled down, use the concepts in this blog to ask: "Do you feel like your frustration came from the difficulty of the game, or your focus?"

• Normalize the Struggle: Remind them of the "mediocre results" concept from the blog. Help them understand that elite competition requires a different level of preparation, and fighting through the tough days now is their insurance policy for the big games later.